An actually existing Desktertainment unit?

Yes, the time has come for the Desktertainment unit to move out of the world of ideal forms and condense into crude perishable matter.

Measuring up:

 Cut parts, with primer coat:


So far, I have learned it is best to steer your jigsaw, rather than attempt to push it on track with a guide - the blades cut straight ahead vastly better than they do sideways, and so the end result of using a guide is that the blade bends and cuts at an angle to the wood instead of straight through, so that the saw body can track along the guide while the blade cuts straight ahead.  Steering means you can end up with a somewhat wiggly vertical cut through your panel, but it's much better than putting a twist from vertical to 45 degree chamfered.  Probably not safe either, running the blade so distorted.